Tiny Smilling Shreds
by Yessica-N
Summary: Undyne needs to decide if she wants to indulge Papyrus in his aspiration to become a Royal Guardsman. (Pre-game, One-shot concerning sparring and spaghetti)
**Written in answer to a prompt. they requested Undyne and Papyrus friendship (because their relationship is so cute), involving the guard training and spaghetti. So have this oneshot concerning those topics.**

 **I take prompts for numerous fandoms (including NSFW things), so check my profile if interested.**

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"Alright, let's see what you've got, bonehead!" Undyne practically screamed in his earhole.

Papyrus was vaguely grateful he did not have eardrums, or they would surely have burst.

It was quite extraordinary really, the skeleton had never met anyone before that could yell as well as he could. It was oddly awe-inspiring.

"R-Right now?" He stumbles. Wanting to join the royal guard is one thing, having to fight with the impressive captain another thing entirely.

"No, yesterday morning." Undyne answers sarcastically, summoning one of her spear and grasping it from thin air.

Apparently Papyrus is not wholly familiar with the concept of sarcasm (a wonder, considering who his brother is), because he looks confused for a second.

"Yes, now! 20 paces, Soldier!" She turns to walk the required distance and turns around.

Papyrus has already taken his place in the opposite direction, summoning a large bone to use as a melee weapon and standing in defensive position.

Ok, so maybe the guy knew what he was doing after all.

To be frank, Undyne hadn't thought that much of him when he first knocked on her door a few days ago, at midnight for crying out loud.

She has had crazy fans before, that monster kid in the striped shirt still accosted her whenever she got in his line of sight, so Undyne had promptly closed the door in the skeleton's face and gone back to dreamland.

When she woke up and his skull was still plastered to her kitchen window, she knew she had to do something.

Maybe after kicking his ass in one on one combat, Papyrus would return to Snowdin and search for a more profitable profession of his own violation.

Undyne charged with a yell, grasping her weapon with both hands. Papyrus parried the attack easily, pushing back with considerable force.

Or maybe not...

The two went at it for a few minutes, approaching and pushing back in turns. It was almost like a warm-up.

Her spear clashed against the bone again and again, causing slight magic sparks on each contact. The skeleton was even starting to grin again.

This wasn't too bad.

But pride comes before the fall, as they say. In this case, literally.

On next contact, instead of pulling back like before, Undyne used the bottom of her spear to easily swipe Papyrus' feet from under him, making him fall onto his backbone ungracefully.

She raised the spear high, meaning to bring it down on him in force, but he managed to roll away in time, her weapon thumping harshly onto the ground.

She had gone easy on him long enough already.

Extending her arm, Undyne made 3 spears materialize around her and send them flying at her target at high speed.

Already on the ground as he was, Papyrus had no hope of evading this attack like he did previously. Instead, a wall of bones shot out of the ground before him, the magic projectiles slamming into it and immediately fizzling out of existence.

Undyne was surprised for a second. She was so taken in by his innocent demeanor, she hadn't even considered she was dealing with a magic user here. Her hesitation was enough for Papyrus to get his bearings again, standing up, still with that stupid grin on his face and...

Was he "NYEH-HEH-HEH"-ing her?

The ground broke into tiny pieces as Undyne stabbed her spear into it angrily. Magic traveled through the earth, making an entire clutter of spears shoot out of the ground right beneath the conceded skeleton's boots.

Papyrus managed to side-step again, but just barely. His arm shot out and before the fish monster could react a whole myriad of bones was traveling her direction. They were woven into intricate patterns, longer and shorter bones intermingling.

So much concentration went into evading them, Undyne barely registered a sole blue colored attack shooting out from the midst of them. It hit her square in the chest, and her teeth automatically gritted in anticipation of the pain that would surely accompany it.

But no such thing happened. Instead, it felt more like the gravity of the entire underground had been turned up a notch.

A great weight was pulling down on her and impeding all her movements. What kind of magic was this?

"You're blue now!" Papyrus was yelling from the other side of their impromptu battlefield, sounding entirely too proud of himself.

That was, until Undyne let out a loud, hearty laughter, her long yellow teeth visible in Waterfalls blueish light.

"I fight with full body armor all the time, punk! Who do you think I am?"

Papyrus hadn't used his blue magic that often, but he certainly never saw any creature move that fast while under it's effects. Undyne was slower than before, but still fast enough to keep him on his toes.

And just like that he was forced back into the evasive.

Again they went at it. Nearly 10 minutes passed like this.

The ground was full of ditches and furrows, broken in several places by spears and bones alike. Both monsters were starting to lose stamina, sweat breaking out on their foreheads.

Undyne grunted as she was pushed back, heels digging into the ground. Another round of projectiles were coming at her, but she could easily deflect them with her spear.

Suddenly, a stinging pain lit up her lower left side. Looking down, she saw one bone that had come from an entirely different direction, now jabbed in her thigh.

Oh. Changing the direction of your attack in the middle of an assault was an impressive feat, one Undyne had not seen in a lot monsters. It didn't do much damage at all, but it had been unexpected.

She was impressed.

Maybe allowing Papyrus into the royal guard wasn't such a bad idea after all.

"Oh no, Undyne, are you alright?" Papyrus' voice sounded awfully worried, all bone related magic instantly dissipated, turning into orange dust particles that disappeared when touching the ground.

Scrap that. Allowing Papyrus into the royal guard was a horrible idea.

He had been stupid enough to approach into arms reach of Undyne, who easily tripped him up with a spear, which landed the skeleton on his back.

Before he could move her spears point was at his vertebrae, right under his chin and her foot settled on his sternum, effectively cutting off any movement.

"Lesson one: never drop your defenses until the battle is completely over." She pushed down a fraction with her boot, making sure he got the message, before allowing her weapon to dissipate and getting off, offering him a hand instead.

Papyrus took it and she pulled him up effortlessly. Bones are really light, she could suplex his ass with ease. Maybe next time...

"Wowie, Undyne, tha-" The skeleton cut himself off as his eye sockets lit up with sudden realization. "You said lesson 1. Does that mean I, The Great papyrus, have made it into the royal guard." He clasped his hands together like a small child would.

Undyne bit her lip for a moment. She could hardly allow Papyrus into the regiment just like that, if ever. He was way too naïve and caring for such a job. he would get shredded into tiny, smiling bits the first time a real battle popped up.

or a human.

On the other hand, he was a decent fighter and had an extraordinary amount of determination for a monster. Besides, knowing him, he would rush of into danger anyway, better that she at least slightly prepare him.

He beamed up at her, patiently waiting for an answer. How could she say no to such a face?

"You're in training." She decided. "Which means I still expect you to manage all your responsibilities as a sentry, while also training with me. No slacking off!"

Unlike his lazybones of a brother, Papyrus had never been deterred by having too much work.

"You shall see that I am the best multi-tasker in the entire Underground!" He proclaimed, voice picking up in volume again. He couldn't wait to tell Sans the news. If a skeleton could faint from excitement, he would surely have done so right now.

Undyne clasped his shoulder, steering him in the direction of her house. Papyrus nearly toppled over again because of the sheer force behind it.

"Good, since we shall start lesson 2 right this instance. We're making Spaghetti!"

"Making what?" Papyrus frowned in a way only animate Skeletons can frown.

"You're getting a cooking lesson, bonehead."

"Wowie, ok... Why?" Papyrus had read every single book regarding combat he could get his boney hands on, and not a single one had managed a thing about the preparation of food.

"Because I say so, punk!" Undyne yelled excitingly, and it spoke volumes that he didn't even think to question that logic.

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